The following is an interview with TC Luoma. TC is the editor of TestosteroneMagazine, former editor of Muscle Media 2000, bodybuilding pioneer, and badass.
Man, I accidentally used too much Androsol this morning -- it's got me almost homicidal. I had to stop by a biker bar and kick some ass on my way out here.
Oh yeah. This is powerful stuff. I can literally feel the increased protein synthesis - in fact, I've gained 29 grams of rock solid mass in the last 2 hours.
Yeah, a lot of people say that. But, I'm 173 lbs at less than 13% bodyfat, so I just don't get it. And frankly, it pisses a T-dude off. In fact, if this Androsol wasn't wearing off, you'd be dead right now... just for bringing it up.
I can't go into that too much, for legal reasons.
No. That's not it at all. It didn't have anything to do with Biotest. He--
Let's just say he saw something that made our business relationship uncomfortable.
Like I said, I can't really say too much - so I'll just leave it at this: "Me, Tim, full body latex, and a tub of vanilla Grow."
I loved that man. Bill Phillips was a great man in the early years - when he still cared about the sport. But, then came the fame, then the drugs and the fitness bimbos... And after he started those physique transformation contests... he just turned into a completely different person.
He made me eat out of a dog bowl.
Bill used to call me that... Are you clean, Tracey? Are you wearing my favorite dress??... Who's ass is this, Tracey?!
It's your ass Bill -- It's your ass!
Okay, I'll call you daddy -- please, just don't hit me again!
Obviously, this has been a fictional skit -- it is parody, co-written by The Lesbian Pimp and Par Deus, and is not intended to be taken at all seriously, nor is it intended to imply anything about the sexual inclinations of the real TC Luoma, Tim Patterson, or Bill Phillips.